Drop the `mantitude’

By December 7, 2016 October 2nd, 2017 Societal concerns


But people who say that men are dogs who do you live with? Dinosaurs? Your ancestors? Men are magnificent human beings who carry visible apples everywhere; Adam’s apples. They are people who have some blankets in their chests we want to lie on them for as long as we sleep. They will make you feel like you’re music when they start putting love in words saying, `No one’s ever going to love you more than I do; I only want a lifetime to prove it’ (I know this line has helped a brother right now; karibu sana). They have GREAT abilities; they fathered us, and we, (daughters and wives of Adam) owe them a bone; each one of us. I feel bitter with every fiber of my being when some hoodwinked individuals raise their voices, and color their scripts to call men that D word. I want to gift such folks with a box on Christmas; a box full of dictionaries because they sure need to check up what dog means; that a man is not of its kind.


Men are good people full of sensitive masculine pride, with a need to excel women in masculine things. A man is made of masculinity; his mind thinks of it, his steps walk with it, his words speak of it, it’s his identity. When anyone praises his masculinity, boosts it, makes him feel good about it, that person does more than saying I love you. When a lady has a car puncture and stops a man asking, `do you mind helping?’ the man will immediately use his masculinity calculator and help regardless of whether they can fix it or not; they will at least try because a man gotta do what a man gotta do.


Now with girl empowerment energy going around accelerated by gear 5, ladies believe that what men can do women can do better. Women empowerment could be the best thing that ever happened to women in the 21st century. It has made ladies MPs, managers, FGM is slowly coming to an end, and the most powerful nation was just about to be ruled by a lady and Trump turned the tables and changed the story. Traffic smells of independent ladies and music sings of miss independent. But we have to appreciate that men are a package. These Adams are not everything but they are something. They have macho power that we cannot undermine.


Ladies, if at any one time in life you feel like killing a man, a death that would not necessarily lead to the grave, do something that will kill his manliness. Anything, call him and mouth how amateurish he is in bed; go ahead and rate him at 1/5. While he is driving, mention you enjoy more when his best friend drives, go ahead and pour cold water on his driving skills and don’t forget to call him careless and reckless. Ask him whether he turns blind upon walking to a boutique because he suffers from fashion cancer. Rub all this into his face. Do it. Men like their masculinity watched like a hawk and when you diminish it, you kill him INSIDE and make his life a living hell.



But how can a girl be acquainted with all this, you’re wondering? A lady with zero sense of masculinity; a girl who has hijacked men of their masculinity, what gospel can she preach? Well, I got a wise masculine man to tell it out because we need to be in the know. We can call him Adam, and here is how the interview went down:


ME: Hey Adam, I love your shoe. So, who is a man?

ADAM: [Adam, gives a down look at his shoes, clears his throat, gathers his coat, loosens his tie, waters his lips and then answers]. A man is many things but if I could use the biblical meaning, he is a provider, and king of the family.

ME: Wow. Provider and king, very well. How about those bachelors without families? The young boys in school. Are they not men?

ADAM: If I can be more profound, a man is a person with some weight of manliness. One who prides in doing tasks that especially seem difficult to women. Mhh and (he reduces his volume) One whose fathering abilities lies somewhere between his legs.

ME: Ha ha. So, in a range of 1-5, how can you rate the understanding of ladies to treating men based on their masculinity?

ADAM: Asi (he must be a kamba). To be sincere one. He answers after shaking his head.

ME: One. How so? Aren’t you being very mean with marks?

ADAM: Look around; investigate the core reasons of divorce, breakups, anything that goes wrong in a relationship. Among those reasons, you will realize that a man’s masculinity was hijacked somewhere and the ladies don’t even seem to realize.

ME: How do you feel when your masculinity is hijacked?

ADAM: Let me state that the deepest misery in a man is to be belittled by a woman. Paying all family bills, driving a bigger car than him, doing the masculine jobs at home, anything a woman does to belittle a man puts him in misery. She may think she is helping but in real sense, she is entering into a hole of a bad relationship.

ME: Can you give instances of when men’s masculinity is hijacked?

ADAM: Gladly. In my dating days, I once dated a lady who was made up of independence. One day, I invited her and her friend to a date after work and the bill totaled to around 4,600. The waiter placed it on my side because the assumption is that a man pays the bill. My lady could not hold his horses; she dared to check the bill and put half the amount on the cash plate as the pal watched. That was demeaning; it made me feel little and I had to confront her later and tell her that when I invite people on dates, I’m ready to pay bills. She said she was just helping especially because she had brought a friend. In between her justification, she said that we should stop sticking to the olden ways of dating where a man could pay for everything. That in this modern era bills can be split. From what I gathered, she had read a blog post and bought every word (about splitting bills) in it. Such are the things that ladies do that hurt a man’s manliness.


Unless a man has requested, it’s good that ladies let him do masculine things. Let him drive you; let him take care of the leaking ceiling, do computer repairs, service the car.

ME: Why do you think such incidences happen?

ADAM: Ladies don’t know it hurts when a man’s masculinity is undermined. They have no idea how important manliness is to a man and most of them think it’s all fun and games pouring cold water on machismo.

Media has also played a big part in this. What we are watching, listening, reading all play a part. Let ladies not buy everything they come across; it could be your relationship or marriage that you are putting at stake.

Influence from friends also majorly affects.

ME: What would you urge ladies

ADAM: Lack of appreciation of masculinity has been a deal breaker in most marriages and relationships; let yours not head that way. Appreciate his masculinity. Praise him for the masculine jobs he does around, give him a chance to do them and let him know how good he is at it. It does no harm to exaggerate the praises a bit. It will make him happy and you will keep winning his heart. Sometimes it’s all we want.


Today is a learning day. #Voice of a man.




The Unique Mumbi

About The Unique Mumbi

I smile a lot; let’s just say I am a smiling machine. I have never felt how it feels to have an English name; in that case, you can call me unique. Writing became part of me after my first and best heartbreak ever. Wasn’t this man an angel? Slow internet makes me want to scream, and cashew nuts love me too.

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