By December 14, 2017 Societal concerns

Bare chest, two naked ladies on either side. Champagne on the floor, weed seeds on the window, more men and ladies on the other beds. The room smells of impunity, fornication, and its sexy flavors. This is the life Morris chose. 64 kms away is his wife of 15 years, alone in their matrimonial bed in this chilly and cold weather. It is too cold she calls his son to keep her company in the middle of the night. For the past one week, she has neither seen nor heard from his husband. He has been away for business, and while in business, he hardly calls; they are always in meetings and a minute to check on his wife is too much to ask. From the many passwords on his phone, and how protective he is with it, she doesn’t need a cheating calculator to count the number of booty calls he receives. Recently, a lady called her mobile asking where Morris is. She claimed to be his second wife.

`I know you’re the first lady, we will soon meet. Anyway, I just wanted to know where he has been for a week’.


This had gone too far. She broke down. This is not the life mama Dee signed up for in her marriage. She had a clear picture of how they would go for Weekend getaways, dress up, twin, and go for Photoshoots in the woods, go watch their son in sports competition, camp with other couples, but the only marriage she has now is the ring in her finger. She has the money, the hubby is a good provider, his son goes to one of the best schools but what is all that without the love she longs for? The one she deserves, what she signed up for.

She was the life of a party before marriage. That’s where she actually met his hubby, in a corporate party. Dude had charms, dude was handsome, dude was caring and it was love at first sight. She played hard to get for 3months but you see, Morris had learnt the art of patience. When he wants it, he wants it, doesn’t matter whether it’s gonna take him 12years. They dated and had their ups and downs. The downs were mainly Morris cheating and Mama Dee was so blinded by love to quit the relationship; it bothered her nevertheless.

As she shared the cheating story with her friends, they advised that the only way out is to get pregnant and Morris would now focus on his growing family. Upon pregnancy, the man’s side organized for a wedding before the bump became public because traditionally, if you impregnate a girl before marriage, the dowry triples and this economy is wanting. The wedding was beautiful but the man felt caged especially after discovering that the whole thing was a plan. It was a dream come true for Mama Dee; she had had the title Mrs. Morris in a marriage certificate and only death could part them.


Death? She has never been wrong. It is the beautiful ladies who don’t care whether Morris is married or not as long as he provides the life. He has committed to two campus girls and moved them to apartments above their class which they never take for granted as they compensate with some good good horizontal refreshment. Morris and his friends, fellow married men, all have side chicks and their conversations……


Morris: Lakini nowadays you don’t have to hunt too deep or for too long.

Benja: Yes, you find a kagirl, furnish her house, buy her shopping, have a spare key for the house, and bang her anytime you feel like.

Jack: And give her 2,000 which she values as 7million.

Morris: Msee, the juiciest part is, you tell her to get the most expensive family planning and bang her raw.

Jack: We have it easy men!! With money. Cheers!!!

And the young men keep saying, “To those old rich men snatching our girls and doing to them things beyond our budget, we want to let you know….We are saving money and waiting for your DAUGHTERS when we get old. Yes, it is a tug of war.


Mama Dee now moves to church to find consolation, and is even elected treasurer. She prays that one day she will have her husband back as a lover and not a bedmate. Her heart aches, it longs for a loving, and sometimes she wants to file for divorce and find love again but her doubts keeps convincing her that no man would love a divorcee and she hangs on to the marriage. At the end of this journey, when he eventually dies, she will be the heir of his property and that will be the best revenge to the side chicks.


And then Morris’ businesses begin to dwindle, deals go bad, the sponsors of the NGO he worked for withdraw and he is among the downsized number. He is in denial and sees no need of changing his lifestyle to adjust his financial status. After all, he is an educated man who has held senior positions in organizations; offers will come knocking doors and his money will resurrect. The best thing about him is that he was a very loyal saver and had millions in his saving account. Slowly by slowly, he starts eating up his savings to maintain his lifestyle. His party life intensifies; now he has all the time, and climbing mount pork-o-lay-la becomes his day and night job. Mama Dee complains turn into his tasteless breakfast and who gives a damn about tasteless stuff? Reality checks in when his dying company is linked to a very sensitive scandal that necessitates him to spend millions paying counsels. Finally, he ends up in jail for two years and when asked his greatest life lesson, he says, “ladies and gentlemen, you can move from 100 to zero in a whisker. For what I have become, I blame the lifestyle I chose.’’



The Unique Mumbi

About The Unique Mumbi

I smile a lot; let’s just say I am a smiling machine. I have never felt how it feels to have an English name; in that case, you can call me unique. Writing became part of me after my first and best heartbreak ever. Wasn’t this man an angel? Slow internet makes me want to scream, and cashew nuts love me too.

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