LIES MEN TELL

By July 26, 2014 August 1st, 2017 Societal concerns

LIES MEN TELL

Thanks to the bro app, men can now lie in an effective an efficient manner. Yes, Tom and James came up with this big thing, allowing men to have ample time with their boys, you know, watch football, eat `nyam chom’, enjoy buzz and still keep up in the relationship. So you are away from your girl who is so hungry for a conversation while having a blast with your buddies, the app sorts you out. Just for $1.99 last time I checked, the app will send texts to her at a programmed time of your choice. To reduce chances of getting caught, it detects when you are to either just so the text isn’t sent at that time. Well, kudos to Tom and James, its time ladies got creative too and a sister app becomes the next gigantic thing.

Men are smart, they are able to figure out what ladies want and give exactly that even if it means faking. Ladies love those paradise promises, why not promise that as the lady waits till forever for the fulfillment.

Jane’s birthday is days away and she has steamed up her pals on how hers will be `the birthday of the decade’. Her fiancée has promised to treat all her girlfriends, bills on him and that favorite musician that she likes will be in the house. Indeed `Churchill Raw’ is an underestimation of the event. However, a day to the birthday, he calls using a different number and tells her that he has been caught in the wrong side of law and needs at least200, 000 refundable. Moved by `love’, the lady sends the money awaiting the magic call that he is out and on his way to the birthday. Everything fails, no musicians, no cake cutting, no anything, just a deficit of kshs. 200,000.

Ladies like sweet nothings, so to be the ideal man; you’ve got to master these. Back in high school, it’s still fresh in my mind how we could wait for Friday, the day when letters would arrive. It would be everyone’s wish to open with a smile and quickly spot the `you are the only mango in my juice’ les. Ladies want to be texted, called regularly, it makes them happy.

Mary’s hubby goes on a trip and she expects him to update her on every step of the journey which he doesn’t. She texts, she calls and all those go unanswered. Her days are the dullest; you could say her life depended on him. After the tip, he calls and explains how sorry he is. His phone had been connected to a laptop because it has sweet music to entertain the crew. From that angle, he could not be in a position to notice any calls, leave alone receiving. Men have this thing that women and technology are like water and onions. They use technology as a defensive mechanism.

On a personal basis, I enjoy the lies men tell. We fall for some but some are so white to fall for. They say for you to be smart, you have to be a liar. How true that is, let’s wait for the judgment day. Patience is a virtue, isn’t it?

Have a lovely Saturday buddies.

The Unique Mumbi

About The Unique Mumbi

I smile a lot; let’s just say I am a smiling machine. I have never felt how it feels to have an English name; in that case, you can call me unique. Writing became part of me after my first and best heartbreak ever. Wasn’t this man an angel? Slow internet makes me want to scream, and cashew nuts love me too.

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