By July 23, 2015 August 1st, 2017 In the 20’s


How I love worst case scenarios. Most people will feed us with all the positives in the world but forget to give heads up that It’s not a walk in the park altogether. Undergraduate life is sweet and somewhat hustle free for 98% of us compared to the real world. A world which is coupled with a roller coaster economy, where unemployment is a dominating factor, where CV’s print outs are more than the dailies, and where MONEY talks. That I am finishing school at the year-end always keeps me thinking of the worst case scenarios after campus. Someone told me that early preparation never killed anyone; even Nairobians have been preparing Kidero’s grass to grow ahead of Obama’s visit.

You update, `finally done with 8-44’, graduation comes and dozens turn up for your party, your parents spoil a tidy amount to facilitate the party, but the BIG question remains, what’s next? In a sphere that has thousands graduating weekly, it is only possible to have thousands of people with no jobs. With unemployment comes zero source of income, unless grants come in handy. While in campus, money was readily available, and just a phone call away. All one had to do was utilize an hour composing an artistic lie, drawing a touchy heart filled message and sending it to your parents or guardians. In most cases, the lie is/was academic related thus making it hard for parents to turn down the requests. On a bad day, waiting for 2days becomes the case but finally the amount comes through. Out here, the case is different; there are no `textbooks’ to buy. Those who are still in school better make use of this chance because a time is coming and a full stop will be inserted.

HELB was one savior that students will live to remember as the KRA guys do justice to their salary. All the same, during campus days, it saved millions (iliokolea wengi). I began chasing the paper the moment my HELB request was turned down. I couldn’t help eyeing my pals purchase `big’ phones, buy the priced `Mr. Price’ clothes, include meat in all their meals, not to mention enjoying Remy Martin XO Brandy kind of drinks. I got over it with time though. HELB moves, is moving, and has moved people from nothing to something. Ask around and men will confess that this loan worked a great deal while `they were cutting for ladies’ (kukatia wasichana) as they easily ` entered the box’ (kuingia box) courtesy of being spoiled. After campus, this is no more, you now begin searching for an income generating activity to repay the loan and this is not pleasant as KRA guys cannot keep off. The few who invested their loan mostly have a fairy tale of living happily ever after.

“Easy catches are no more,’’ the graduates I talked too confessed. Unlike campus where men utilized the `chips funga’ technique while ladies resisted using the `Mchele for Survival’ method, out here it is different. A man has to dig dipper to win that lady, otherwise, the 2 guaranas he was used to buying will only land him to a spiced drink. This attracts dry spell season in some cases which is not a very bad welcome to the real world; may be your purpose was to live in celibacy (he he…. I am stupid
). Remember how easy it was to hunt in campus? Out here languages like `ponyoka na fresha’ are unknown even if you got an interpreter. You better enjoy while it lasts.

Isn’t hostel life just simple? All a student worries about is where to get ingredients and a coil as electricity is free, you can share utensils, water hardly lacks, it’s a bossy life. Most students residing in hostels don’t know where gas is refilled let alone the cost of hapric. Flashback to how you would get into the streets just because there is a 2minutes blackout and you cannot study, cook, bla bla; Out here it’s you against the money. Forget about the pan you would share among 15 people, now if you don’t own one, it’s going to dawn on you that sufurias prepare chapattis too. That 7,000 bob that paid your hostel fee for a whole year may not even serve as rent for a month. While you have no bed, and the mattress you can afford is a low density one you will look back and remember how you could bulge like Kaimati just because the janitor gave you a medium density mattress. You are your own janitor now, if you bulge, it’s to your shadow.

Worst cases scenarios are always the worst, so if you are still in the campus grounds, try thinking outside the box. Reality will hit on us and it’s not always an appetizing moment. Make life after campus a bit spicy by not pouring all your money into alcohol, ladies, and unnecessary things. Invest; start thinking of a MASTER plan on how to face the outside world. Maybe you have hopes of getting a first class honors, ALL THE BEST, but nowadays papers are not everything; don’t get very comfortable. Let nobody lie to you that education is the ONLY key to life, your attitude towards life is.

Let me prepare my speech to His Excellency the President of the United States. Keep your eyes glued to your screens and watch me make my presentation on Friday at Kenyatta unifasity (that’s how close my dreams get to reality). Till next time, NAWAPENDA ZAIDI!!!!

The Unique Mumbi

About The Unique Mumbi

I smile a lot; let’s just say I am a smiling machine. I have never felt how it feels to have an English name; in that case, you can call me unique. Writing became part of me after my first and best heartbreak ever. Wasn’t this man an angel? Slow internet makes me want to scream, and cashew nuts love me too.

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